Post by Killer on Jan 18, 2004 9:57:58 GMT -5
Dear pals,
Tonight, it was a nice evening spent with classmate. We called it a day
with a 2155pm movie titled "Finding Nemo". A good show indeed.
I hop on to a taxi. And started to chat with the cabby. Nice chat but
our
conversation turns heavy...
He ask: "Are u married, lady?"
I replied, "Yes."
He continue, "Does you hubby loves you and always with u in times of
trouble??"
I replied carefully, "Y r u asking?"
He continued his story in a deep tone and i can feel his sorrow and
guilt.
He wanted me to spread his story to remind all husbands, boyfriends and
men
to love your love ones especially wife...
In January 03, he lost his wife to cancer. He regretted not standing by
with his wife during her struggle with cancer. Most of his time he spent
driving around as he is a cabby... but with the fact that he is
unfaithful
to his wife too. He went to prositution for sex. He even has a close
girlfriend.
He just love to hang out and refused to go home. He did not bother about
his sick wife nor bother to ask how is she when she looks frail and pale
nor bother to find out from doctor how is her treatment going. He did
not
even bother to accompany her to the hospital for treatment despite the
fact
that she is in pain and fear from chemo. He literately leave her alone
battling with her illness.
He did not bother at all to know, always giving excuses like busy with
business (a cab business)... business needs him to run about and even
demand his sick wife to understand. At times the sick wife tried to
strike
a conversation, he will brush off. For some times he thought that there
is
no love between them. (He was wrong. He love her very much and needed
her.)
Then came a day when his wife is dying, then he realised that his wife
had
long given up hope by giving up treatment. He can't help but scolding
his
wife stupid at her death bed. He was in tears for a first time.
He never able to forget his wife last words :"Dear, i have been lonely
all
this while. I long for your company but you never there. You lied to me
that you will stand by me to help me pull through this crisis...you
never
there for me.... Still I love you and thanks for being my hubby..." She
added...It is at the moment before her last breathe, he burst into tears
and whisper into her ears " I love you... I am sorry..."
But all is too late... she is gone... forever.
Thereafter his life has changed... till now he feel that he had let his
wife down and living in guilt. He regretted. Only now he realised he is
a
coward... a coward who refused to face his wife sickness as fact nor
accept
the truth of his marriage vow ..."be with her thru health and illness
till
death do us part". He simply just want to find an easy and selfish way
out
by escaping.
At this moment i can feel his manly tone shaken, trying hard to fight
back
his tears. I was at a loss of words. I told myself to console him but no
words came out. I feel sorry for him but somehow deep in my heart, i do
agree that he is a coward and he should feel guilty. I can understand
and
feel the loneliness and the pain the wife must have been putting up. She
must be in great despair that she make the decision to stop treatment;
an
indirect act to slow suicide. I am sure if the husband is there for her
during her treatment process, giving her all the encouragement
phyically,
emotionally and mentally, she would have lived.
Well i did not probe further if they had kids or how long has she had
her
cancer or when she stop her treatment and what type of cancer? I see no
reasons at all to know.
At last I am home after a 25 mins ride. I alighted with a heavy heart
after
greeting him goodbye and accepting his advise to "treasure your love
ones
and remember the marriage vow."
I pondered again. Must we always learned how to treasure our loved ones
only when we lost them?? Why are we always repeating mistakes when it is
a
clear mistake happened on TV and in real life? Are we people so stubborn
that GOD had to punish us and make us learn thru the hardest way (losing
our loved ones)??
Now i know why my colleague (receptionist) insisted her husband to say
"I
love you" once in the morning (when woke up) and once in the night (when
about to sleep). Her reason is "We don't know what life had ahead of us.
Some people just died in their sleep without even to know or hear from
their spouse such words. How pathetic??"
I think she has a point.
So friends, please tell your love ones how much they are loved by u,
shower
them with love by words and gestures. Do it for LOVE. And live a life
without regrets.
Husband, love your wife; Wife, commit to your husband. Husband/Wife of a
patient, stand by he/her and help he/her to build hope. Never
under-estimate such forces. Understand their pain though you can never
feel
their pain. Your presence is always a reward for the patient to fight on
and stay alive. Bring them hope and let them keep their faith thru you.
May all of us understand the meaning of life - and a meaningful life is
come from the joy of sharing with family and friends and sometimes even
strangers.
We are borned with a divine purpose and so don't denied it.
Take care, all.
Good night... oops good afternoon.
Tonight, it was a nice evening spent with classmate. We called it a day
with a 2155pm movie titled "Finding Nemo". A good show indeed.
I hop on to a taxi. And started to chat with the cabby. Nice chat but
our
conversation turns heavy...
He ask: "Are u married, lady?"
I replied, "Yes."
He continue, "Does you hubby loves you and always with u in times of
trouble??"
I replied carefully, "Y r u asking?"
He continued his story in a deep tone and i can feel his sorrow and
guilt.
He wanted me to spread his story to remind all husbands, boyfriends and
men
to love your love ones especially wife...
In January 03, he lost his wife to cancer. He regretted not standing by
with his wife during her struggle with cancer. Most of his time he spent
driving around as he is a cabby... but with the fact that he is
unfaithful
to his wife too. He went to prositution for sex. He even has a close
girlfriend.
He just love to hang out and refused to go home. He did not bother about
his sick wife nor bother to ask how is she when she looks frail and pale
nor bother to find out from doctor how is her treatment going. He did
not
even bother to accompany her to the hospital for treatment despite the
fact
that she is in pain and fear from chemo. He literately leave her alone
battling with her illness.
He did not bother at all to know, always giving excuses like busy with
business (a cab business)... business needs him to run about and even
demand his sick wife to understand. At times the sick wife tried to
strike
a conversation, he will brush off. For some times he thought that there
is
no love between them. (He was wrong. He love her very much and needed
her.)
Then came a day when his wife is dying, then he realised that his wife
had
long given up hope by giving up treatment. He can't help but scolding
his
wife stupid at her death bed. He was in tears for a first time.
He never able to forget his wife last words :"Dear, i have been lonely
all
this while. I long for your company but you never there. You lied to me
that you will stand by me to help me pull through this crisis...you
never
there for me.... Still I love you and thanks for being my hubby..." She
added...It is at the moment before her last breathe, he burst into tears
and whisper into her ears " I love you... I am sorry..."
But all is too late... she is gone... forever.
Thereafter his life has changed... till now he feel that he had let his
wife down and living in guilt. He regretted. Only now he realised he is
a
coward... a coward who refused to face his wife sickness as fact nor
accept
the truth of his marriage vow ..."be with her thru health and illness
till
death do us part". He simply just want to find an easy and selfish way
out
by escaping.
At this moment i can feel his manly tone shaken, trying hard to fight
back
his tears. I was at a loss of words. I told myself to console him but no
words came out. I feel sorry for him but somehow deep in my heart, i do
agree that he is a coward and he should feel guilty. I can understand
and
feel the loneliness and the pain the wife must have been putting up. She
must be in great despair that she make the decision to stop treatment;
an
indirect act to slow suicide. I am sure if the husband is there for her
during her treatment process, giving her all the encouragement
phyically,
emotionally and mentally, she would have lived.
Well i did not probe further if they had kids or how long has she had
her
cancer or when she stop her treatment and what type of cancer? I see no
reasons at all to know.
At last I am home after a 25 mins ride. I alighted with a heavy heart
after
greeting him goodbye and accepting his advise to "treasure your love
ones
and remember the marriage vow."
I pondered again. Must we always learned how to treasure our loved ones
only when we lost them?? Why are we always repeating mistakes when it is
a
clear mistake happened on TV and in real life? Are we people so stubborn
that GOD had to punish us and make us learn thru the hardest way (losing
our loved ones)??
Now i know why my colleague (receptionist) insisted her husband to say
"I
love you" once in the morning (when woke up) and once in the night (when
about to sleep). Her reason is "We don't know what life had ahead of us.
Some people just died in their sleep without even to know or hear from
their spouse such words. How pathetic??"
I think she has a point.
So friends, please tell your love ones how much they are loved by u,
shower
them with love by words and gestures. Do it for LOVE. And live a life
without regrets.
Husband, love your wife; Wife, commit to your husband. Husband/Wife of a
patient, stand by he/her and help he/her to build hope. Never
under-estimate such forces. Understand their pain though you can never
feel
their pain. Your presence is always a reward for the patient to fight on
and stay alive. Bring them hope and let them keep their faith thru you.
May all of us understand the meaning of life - and a meaningful life is
come from the joy of sharing with family and friends and sometimes even
strangers.
We are borned with a divine purpose and so don't denied it.
Take care, all.
Good night... oops good afternoon.